Tag: Mental health

2020-11-05 Lifestyle, Travel

About my holiday in Lapland & life

I like to write about my real life here every once in a while, even though those are not the most popular posts. I contemplated on this text quite a bit though, because the honest answer to “how are you” is not instagrammable or funny. (Or maybe with my twisted humor it is.)

I was planning on writing about my holiday, but I couldn’t write about it without first telling you how it is. How much I needed a break. How much I needed to get away –  even for just a while – and be in Lapland and stare at the most beautiful starry sky I’ve ever seen.

It feels as though this year has been just cancer, heartbreak, serious sicknesses and bad luck. I feel like for a few times already I’ve said aloud something like “if x happens, I don’t know how I’ll manage, I can’t take it”.  And then it happens and I manage. Somehow.

When the latest bad news hit me, I almost started laughing. It’s like, okay 2020, bring it on.

A little holiday in Lapland

Every time I visit Lapland, I fall a bit more in love with it. I feel a bit more rested now and I’m really thankful for the new experiences. And just the fact that we could go, even with the corona.

And when it comes to that – we had less human contacts there than we have here in Helsinki. Obviously we were at our own cottage very social distanced and the hotels we stayed at were basically empty. And the restaurants we ate at (just 2 restaurant, otherwise we had take away or cooked) were also being careful so we were not close to people at any time.

The anxiety of all the bad news didn’t fully disappear while I was eating a three course meal in the restaurant of the year, or looking outside our beautiful hotel suite. But I still enjoyed those moments. I’m still at awe when I think about the menu in Aanaar and for example the mushroom ice cream I had. I tasted things I’ve never tasted before and saw scenery I’ve never seen before.

By the way – did you know that one of the ways to handle anxiety is to eat something and really focus on how it tastes?

Food at Aanaar was delicious.

Northern Lapland is a totally different world to where I live. I felt so small climbing to a fjeld and looking at the endless trees and forested hills. I also felt out of breath, exhausted and freezing. When I was at the top, breathing heavy and being so so tired, I felt as though the whole year was weighing on my shoulders, not just my back pack. But once we got in the car, I felt like a winner, just a bit.

A true before & after. Before hiking and at the (almost) top. If you look at the second photo and behind me, you can kinda imagine how beautiful the view was.

Coming home I toyed with the idea of moving to Northern Lapland one day, to be one with nature. But I guess that’s more about escaping the every day life a bit. Being in a different place, seeing new things, to not think about the reality as much. Realistically I don’t see myself leaving Helsinki.

What else?

–  I experienced the sleepless night of travelling in a night train in the smallest cabin ever (Helsinki – Rovaniemi). I can’t recommend it. Next time we’ll just drive and take a break in a hotel.

– I woke up in a dark and cozy cottage to a warm coffee and delicious breakfast. Risto’s mom even baked me my own oatmeal bread! I watched 3 Christmas movies at the cottage and had two naps. Those are important on a holiday.

– I got to sleep in the aurora suite in Novaskyland hotel. I’ve always dreamt of staying in one of those aurora iglus, but Risto didn’t love the idea. This was almost the same, as the windows were huge and we had a clear view to the sky. The suite was beautiful and everything was nice and clean.

– I saw polar bears! And beautiful owls. We visited Ranua Zoo and because there was basically no one there, we got to walk through the place safely and in peace. Fun fact: we were the only guests at the holiday cottage village there. The cottage was nice. Actually, pretty much all the hotels we stayed at were either empty or just had a few guests.

– Had a lovely city visit to Jyväskylä. We stayed at the Sokos Hotel Paviljonki and also had dinner at their restaurant, Trattoria Aukio. Food was great and the customer service impeccable.

– Got back home and had a small Halloween party for four. My last minute look was Harley Quinn. Next year I want to do it again properly. I feel like I missed a lot of makeup fun this year, because I’ve been so tired. Next year I really want to do more looks.

My merino wool outfit from Icebreaker.

Life is also about finding happiness in the smallest of places

All in all I had a lovely holiday and life is not totally bad. This year has also been about comforting hugs, big laughs with friends, some good news, lots of movies, growth and finding happiness in the smallest of places. I even started going to therapy again and I want to count that as a good thing. This year, more than ever, I have really had to focus to find the positives. But there are always positives – you just gotta look for them.

I have already put up the Christmas decorations and I love walking past them when fetching water and coffee from the kitchen. I find solace in them. I find solace in my routines.

The planet keeps on moving no matter what. I do too. Last year around this time I told myself: you’ll get through anything. Today it feels true. Who knows what the future holds? There must be good things too. And that’s the positive attitude I’m feeling today.

 

So that’s what’s up.

How are you?

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2019-02-06 Wellbeing

Go on, exceed yourself

Let’s talk about something uncomfortable and shamefully personal.

And what’s more uncomfortable than the uncomfort zone? (I’m getting uncomfortable just writing about it.) You know, the zone where supposedly the magic happens? The place where you challenge yourself, learn new things, fail miserably, laugh, cry and also – grow.

I think I’m finally ready to step out of my comfort zone. And that might sound like such a small little thing, but it is huge. For me, anyway. And here’s where it gets personal.

Horrible yet necessary – going outside of your comfort zone

You see, I hate the uncomfort zone. I have not spent that much time in there – except for the years of depression and anxiety. That was uncomfortable times thousand. Or a million. And possibly one of the reasons I’ve avoided some things. I don’t know if it makes sense, but being so uncomfortable, sad, miserable, insecure and depressed – you kind of never want to go back. I only want to go forward. Not to talk about the fact that I still sometimes struggle with the feelings of anxiety.

Pinja’s cat managed to showcase the emotions so well I just had to take a photo.

But the uncomfort zone means owning up to those feelings. All of the feelings. You’re bound to feel insecure. You’re bound to feel sad. But you also get the opportunity to feel proud.

For some reason I have had this fear of trying new things and learning new skills. No, that’s not right.
I have the fear of failing and not being good enough.

Which, in paper, sounds so ridiculous it makes me want to jump in to the unknown. And that’s good. Because lately I have done just that. I have tried new things. I have challenged myself.

And as a small surprise for myself: I didn’t break. 

lifestyle wellbeing uncomfort zone

I’ve stepped in the uncomfort zone

You know the movie “Yes Man”? I always thought it was such a clever idea. It’s fascinating what might happen, once you agree and just say yes. It’s more exciting than saying no. It presents an opportunity and opportunities are rarely bad (except when they come in the form of a very unprofessional email).

Lately I’ve been doing new things and putting myself in my personal uncomfort zone. I’ve made a fool of myself in a twerking class (I’m not quite the agile cat I thought I was), I’ve said yes to a new opportunity (even though my anxiety wanted to say no), I’ve went to a yoga class all by myself (I didn’t die) and I even tried boxing.

My hands almost bled in the boxing class, my heart rate got up to 170 bpm at one point, the gloves smelled disgusting, but guess what – I actually had fun. I laughed and succeeded. And want to go again.

I’m already noticing that one part of my brain is encouraging me: go on, try again.

About the twerking class – it’s so so difficult, embarrassing and fun. I honestly wanted to cry at some point, because I was so frustrated. And yet I’m already noticing that one part of my brain is encouraging me: go on, try again. I think I’m getting the whole buzz about the uncomfort zone now. The feeling of winning yourself is, well, super comfortable.

uncomfortzone

When uncomfortable becomes comfortable

I used to hate waking up early and doing a workout first thing in the morning. I have these few particular moves I especially hated, they were so difficult to do and I hated not being able to do something properly.

I used to dread going out running when it was cold, raining or dark.

Used to.

Nowadays, I look forward to working out first thing in the morning. I love challenging myself and doing those moves that seemed so impossible in the beginning. I love going out for a run – no matter the weather. Running in the dark or cold doesn’t bother me like it used to. I have made some uncomfortable things more comfortable.

I know I’m mostly talking about exercising and sports here. Maybe that’s just an easy way to start? It honestly is. Challenging your body physically is easy, because you see the results with your own eyes. Doing something concrete is effective. You get this feeling: if I can do this, I can do anything.

The good feeling that exercising does goes way beyond looking fit and healthy. Being in shape makes me feel good. Exercising is possibly the most important thing when it comes to my mental health.

Go on, exceed yourself

I’m amazed at how the enthusiastic little child, who’s eager to learn new things and not at all afraid of falling down, is waking up in me and almost winning the calculative, shy adult side in me.

I guess I always thought that I would be perfectly fine where I am. That I didn’t need to do the things I was scared of. That I didn’t need to feel insecure or dumb.

But now I’m thinking, that’s where the fun happens.

If not for me, at least for all the other people in my class wondering what on earth is that girl with no sense of rhytm doing in a twerk-dance class.

To put it simply: She’s there to win.

 the uncomfort zone my experience

When was the last time you stepped out of your uncomfort zone?

thanks for photographing me Pinja

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